Friday, December 10, 2010

to update. briefly. about december. so far.


I walked downtown with a group of peeps from the school. It was kind of chilly and all you hear from the Britts is how cold they are. I'm just ragging. We saw a choir and all the stands that used to sell vegetables, flowers and jewellry now sell christmas trees, maple syrup and mittens. I love the market!


We ended up at Zak's diner, where we all ordered milkshake and fries. They're supposedly the best milkshakes in town; I got coffee flavour and it was AWFUL. The fries were good though. Jess introduced herself to the waiter and we discovered we could pick the song that played in the diner for only a quarter you slipped into the little machine at the end of the table. It was magic. The waiter used a palm pilot and Sam asked him why he didn't use an Iphone. Sam also saw another guy in the diner wearing the same purple sweater. He was not pleased.




And the church went skating a couple days ago. It was great. Quite a few of the students didn't know how to skate so that was an adventure. I'm here with Jess, she was pro, even though this was her second time. There are way more pictures up on Facebook, in case you're curious.


Oh yeah. And I'm dating this guy. My mother's very happy.

allnighter number one.

Three functions of the Holy Spirit include revealing, filling and leading. The Spirit reveals to us things of the Lord, mysteries and knowledge. He fills us, to a point of overflowing and therefore is present here with us, not hidden behind a curtain in His temple. Lastly, he leads us. “For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.” (Romans 8:14) The Holy Spirit is part of the trinity, God’s Spirit here on earth just loving away.

The Holy Spirit reveals to us the mysteries of our Lord God: things which were previously hidden. Without the Holy Spirit, we, as humans, would not be able to fathom that God sent his son to die for us; you and I. We could understand neither the gravity nor the necessity of this sacrifice, brought on by God’s deep love for us, His creations. This love itself requires a bit of revelation because of the intensity of such a complete love that we do not experience in any other relationship. “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived”— the things God has prepared for those who love him- these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.” (1 Corinthians 2:9b-10) By revealing these things to us, the Spirit has helped us connect to a God we cannot comprehend, with the acknowledgment that we are still limited by our nature to understand a God so vast. The mysteries of God comprise of things known to him, but not us, and prophecy is, in part, a revelation of these unknown things. “But if an unbeliever or an inquirer comes in while everyone is prophesying, they are convicted of sin and are brought under judgment by all, as the secrets of their hearts are laid bare. So they will fall down and worship God, exclaiming, “God is really among you!” (1 Corinthians 14:24-25) These revelations are surely a privilege, for “Even angels long to look into these things.” (1 Peter 1:12b) What the Spirit reveals is to help us understand the love of God, and is, ultimately, for his glory.

Unable to live the in-between life we are called to live as Christians on our own, we are filled with the Holy Spirit. We are a people in the end times, with a taste of the Spirit of the Lord, but not yet fully with the Lord. The Old Testament is full of men “the Spirit of the LORD came powerfully upon,” (Judges 14:19) but in the New Testament “the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.” (Acts 13:52) God has sent His Spirit, no longer just to come upon us, but to fill and enable us to preach and teach and love everyone. “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7) The Spirit of the Lord stirs hearts and gives us fruit such as kindness and joy. He fills us to overflowing! “Be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:19) We are given gifts of tongues and prophecy, to better communicate with God and encourage our brothers and sisters. As Christians we are filled with the Spirit, a taste of what is to come.

The Spirit who fills us also leads us in the way of the Lord, according to His will for our lives. “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16-17a) God wants us to live our lives in a way pleasing to Him; to love others and serve them out of that love. 1 Corinthians 13 goes into great detail about how to love one another, and the Holy Spirit helps us in that as it would be impossible on our own. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” (Galatians 5:22-25) We have been born with a sinful nature, but born again in the Lord. This new life requires a new walk, and a guide different from that of this world’s. Ever eloquent, David pleas, “Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.” (Psalm 143:10) When we listen and are willing, the Spirit of God leads us according to the will of the Lord.

The Spirit of God has three main functions: to reveal, fill and lead. When the Spirit reveals, it is for our better, things that will encourage, enlighten or exclaim. When the Spirit fills us-- oh to be filled with the Spirit of the Lord--He fills us to overflowing with joy, wisdom and love. When the Spirit leads, He leads us in the will, walk and way of the Lord. The Holy Spirit is God’s presence here on earth, His way of being in communion with His people; His children.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

sometimes i just don't sleep.

I am putting no special effort into making this any sort of creative blog. I am simply updating my blog for the purpose of updating my blog. I feel awful that I haven't been as of late, but such is life.

Have you ever put off doing something you weren't confident in, or were scared of for so long. It becomes a much bigger task then it should have been and you've had to put in way more effort and time, just because you psyched yourself out. I think I did that with my Holy Spirit essay. Just because I didn't have the knowledge or the terminology. I felt kind of like I had come to this school to learn about the Holy Spirit, and then they handed me a few books and told me to write an essay on the Spirit. I had to learn it on my own anyways, but that also meant that I had to LEARN it before I could write an essay on it. I freaked myself out with that, I mean, I could have just written the essay by Biblegateway-ing all the verses with 'Spirit' in them, but I wouldn't fully understand what I was talking about, and thus I was trying to read books, staying up late to read them and then getting to the point where I was literally just staring at the page. At that point I've decided it's way more productive to just go to bed, for whatever amount of time you've got.

It's 6:40 a.m. now and I haven't gone to bed. I need to get dressed for the day now, except that I never got undressed. Haha. Sometimes I just don't sleep. Although admittedly not since my last essay about two years ago in highschool. Or is that two and a half now?? I also haven't written an essay since then, and def never on the bible; I was so nervous about remembering how! And in fact, I'm not confident I did it right and having said that, you're not going to see that essay until I get it back and decently marked. If it wasn't a complete flop I'll share. : )

Having visited some of the girls in my class, at their shared home (they came from the UK), I've realized that my room is a rather odd set up. I'm not a trinket person but my walls are smothered. I think most people are the other way around. Not all though, I'm not claiming originality.

I made cake the other day just for something to do. This is a bad idea. Never bake just for something to do if there's no one to eat it but yourself. Always give baking away. It was created for that. To love on others. No one bakes for themselves. (I am telling myself this. Chantal. Do not eat your baking.) I was thinking. And I know I change what I want to do every other day, but I've been thinking on this for at least a week now so I'll mention it, I was thinking of going to school for baking. I think it's a two year course and honestly, to bake for a CAREER?! Wooo! (this is haphazard because I'm running on two cups of strong coffee, an apple and three pots of apple chai tea.)

We finally have permanent snow here in Ottawa. Maybe it's not even permanent. By that I just meant that it's stayed on the ground for three days now. That's right folks, on the first of December there was no snow. It was almost warm. Still sweater weather! That weirded me out so much, I was so grateful to be going home to cold, snow laiden Saskatchewan for Christmas! I've only ever spent one Christmas without snow, in California when I was nine, and I missed it immensely! It was so weird, it didn't feel like Christmas at all. Like April fools or something. Ha, you all thought it was Christmas. Wrong month. Couldn't you tell by the weather? It rained and we got scooters, rode them that day too. There were Christmas lights in the palm trees and we walked down the road in t-shirts, smelling popcorn in the warm air.

When I get home I want to go skating for my birthday. I've been skating here once already. In a rink though cause it hasn't been nearly cold enough to form any sort of ice outside. I realized though that I haven't skated on an actual rink in so long! I've always resorted to the Besborough because it's so lovely. I love outdoor skating rinks. With the trees and the snow and the music on the outdoor speakers. You actually freeze your butt off but it doesn't smell fake, like rinks do. There aren't fluorescent lights and the music doesn't echo and you can show off for the cars driving by. Best of all it's free! Ha. But the ice is choppy and my picks catch and then I stumble, so on smooth ice I realized that I'm actually a better skater than I thought, which was wonderful news! We've got so many non-Canadians in our school, it was fantastic watching them all cling to the boards. Is that awful of me? Come skate at the Besborough on the 18th of December. It'll be great fun!

I think I'll have an album of photo's on Facebook for every day I'm home; I intend to do so much! And I've missed everyone and Saskatoon and the weather! Nothing ever seems special until you leave it behind. Then you realize that you like the snow to come in November. October even. Although it was really great to be able to longboard to lifegroup (equivalent to caregroup?) in November.

6:55. Hm. Shout out to Nanny, who sent me a purple birthday card with butterflies. Thanks for remembering! And early too! I know you won't read this though, cause the internet's not your thing, so I promise to write you a letter later today. Maybe after I've taken a nap... I'm just putting this up on here so other's know you're the first to wish me a Happy Birthday. You've beat them all to it. Love you!

Also today I'm going to make peppernuts. I didn't realize this was a Mennonite thing until I was informed so by the lack of knowledge of it out here. No one knows what they are!! It must be one of those things you think are Canadian but really, no one outside your province, or even your city has heard of. They told the Britts and the Americans that they HAD to try "Canadian Beavertails". (It's a pastry) Not actually Canadian at all, I think it's just in Ottawa actually. But so many people never leave Ottawa that they think if it's in the capital city of Canada, it's Canadian. Bah. And all the Britts have never had eggnog! What a shame!! I tried explaining eggnog to Josh and I think I scared him off it... I don't know how else to explain eggs in a creamy form with spices. Anyone? Can anyone explain eggnog so's to make it sound appetizing? I'm going to bring peppernuts and eggnog in to class so everyone can feast during class break. They will all love it, they have to. These are Christmas food essentials. Speaking of peppernuts though, mom, could you gift me with the recipes I sort of don't have?

Well. Off to class. It's a given that I'll fall asleep in the class I pulled an allnighter to finish the homework for. Pathetic Chantal, really.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

surprise, i'm late

We had a surprise birthday party last night for one of the girls in our class. I'm too tired right now to give you the wonderful details of how I made an entrance but not an exit, facilitated a truthful game and was the only one on the entire bus around midnight. You'll just have to do with this photo. (the birthday girl is the one holding the scarecrow-Jess)

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

why me?


I slipped the five dollar bill into the pocket of my black, zip up sweater and exited the car. I'd had a sudden craving for a Charleston Chew as we pulled into the gas station on our way back to Ottawa on Sunday. With limited resources too, I really wanted that bar! Alas, the store did not carry it, even though the cashier thought they did.

That five dollars was forgotten about until today, when I slipped that sweater on and, feeling something in the right pocket, discovered it. But it felt like it wasn't mine. That wasn't my five dollar bill, God told me to give it away, and today. Alright, I thought. I can do that. People ask me for change all the time. As I walked to the bus stop, I pictured myself giving that money to every person I passed. I wasn't sure though, and didn't have the boldness to just hand it off randomly to the first, or second, or third person I saw. All I knew was that it wasn't mine.

I arrived at school late on the first day, yup I did, (only five minutes!) and the notes are going to follow in a separate entry because I'm currently telling you a story that I don't want disrupted. Even though I'm disrupting it myself.

On the bus home from school I was thinking about the lonely glass jar on our counter containing coffee grinds. And then about the out of place, white glass container holding sugar, right next to the coffee. I had bought the first one at the dollar store, so I figured I could spare two bucks. One jar for sugar and one jar for teabags, and then they can all match! Steph walked me into the mall becaue we both had downed way too much tea during class for our small bladders to handle. Then she asked why I didn't take the 14 from the mall home. Save myself a seven minute walk. Somehow I just didn't even consider it. Walking, I told her. She shrugs and hugs goodbye.

It was weird walking through that mall today. I didn't want ANYTHING. Didn't even have any desire to look. I kept waiting for someone to stop me and ask, I mean, somebody had to, right? Out of the mall, through the parking lot, cross two roads and not a soul had said a word to me. I had to span one more road to get to the dollar store parking lot and instead of walking a minute up to the crosswalk, I stood there and waited for the waves of traffic to halt enough, for a gap big enough to come so I could skirt across the busy road. A guy down the road to my right managed to make it across and I smiled at him, cocked my head to the side, showing my amusement that he had crossed and I hadn't.

Moments later I got my chance and once across the road he turned to me and smiled. I don't know if he's just in the habit of talking to random people, but I'm not, and so I was kind of startled when he started talking. He asked if I'd heard what the guys in the car had yelled as they drove by right before I'd crossed. I told him no, that I'd thought it was music. Then we were not saying anything but walking side by side in the same direction through the lot.

He then tells me he'd gone to school on the wrong day today. That he'd thought he had school but it turns out it's next Tuesday and so he'd gotten up for nothing. Business and marketing. He asks if I live far and I say no. I tell him I'm going to the Dollar store and then just as we're about to part ways I figured, why not.

"Hey!" I call, just as he's turning to the left. He looks back and I continue, before I can stop myself, to ask if he needs five bucks. He lifts an eyebrow, says,
"What?"
"Five dollars," I say. "God told me to give it away and it may as well be you."
"Yeah sure," he says and I pull the folded bill out of my pocket, glad to be rid of this thing burning a hole in my sweater. He takes it with this confused smile and then asks,
"Why me?" Why indeed. I haven't a clue why you.
"Well," I start, "God told me it wasn't mine, to give it away, and no one's even so much as said hello to me today and then here you are, starting up a random conversation and so it's you. God bless."
"Thanks," he laughs. I start moving toward the dollar store and he mutters that he'll come with me and get juice. He asks 'why me?' again and I chuckle, answering,
"It's only five bucks, not that big a deal."
"I know," he responds. "But still."

In the store he asks me what I'm looking for and I explain it to him. Down one aisle, the wrong aisle and back up the next. He's just following me around, and then he suggests I ask the lady who works there. I would have, except that I was pretty sure I knew where they were. At the end of the mug aisle I found them and apologized as I walked back towards him, saying I hadn't meant to disregard his idea and he assures me it's alright, that he simply doesn't like looking for things in stores.

I move up to the left side of the till and he disappears down an aisle. The lady standing there informs me that till is closed and that I have to move to the other side. Because of that he's moved in line in front of me and sets two bottles of juice down. I deposited my two jars on the counter and he slaps the bill I had given him down on one of the jars. I look up at him, tell him I've given it to him.

"I know," he says. "And if it's mine then I can do with it whatever I like." Can't argue with logic like that.
"Fair," I laugh. The five dollar bill just covers our four items and he pocketed the leftover 17 cents. As we walk out of the store I quickly tell him about school of the word and what we were learning today. He had to turn down an alley on the right so I say goodbye, thank him for buying my jars and he says thanks as well. Then he says God Bless as he's walking away.

This probably seems like such a little meeting, and maybe some of you have odd encounters like this all the time, but I don't, and so I'm still revelling in it. I smiled the whole way home, clutching my two glass, dollar store jars. One for sugar and one for tea.

your music is rubbish

We were always suppposed to be God's children. We were made, designed, destined, purposed to be one of His children. We are representing Christ in this world.

Luke 15:11-32
11 Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. 12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. 13 And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living. 14 But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. 15 Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16 And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.
17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, 19 and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.”’
20 “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. 23 And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; 24 for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.
25 “Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. 27 And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.’
28 “But he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him. 29 So he answered and said to his father, ‘Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. 30 But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.’
31 “And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. 32 It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.’

Genesis 1:26-28
26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the wild animals of the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Children are born to glorify their parents. Honour your father and mother (Exodus something).

Proverbs 17:6
6 Children’s children are the crown of old men,
And the glory of children is their father.

Psalm 127:3-5
3 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

Children are a father's means of triumphing over his enemies. The earthly relationship is a shadow of what it is between your spiritual father. We are made in His image.

Sometimes we look at our earthly father and say, 'that's how God fathers,' but it's supposed to be the other way around.

John 5:19-23
19 Then Jesus answered and said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner. 20 For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself does; and He will show Him greater works than these, that you may marvel. 21 For as the Father raises the dead and gives life to them, even so the Son gives life to whom He will. 22 For the Father judges no one, but has committed all judgment to the Son, 23 that all should honor the Son just as they honor the Father. He who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent Him.

The father loves the Son. They enjoy an intimate relationship. He doesn't keep him in the dark, He wants to show him everything that He's about.

Father & son relationship = love, intimacy and submission.

Matthew 3:16&17
16 When He had been baptized, Jesus came up immediately from the water; and behold, the heavens were opened to Him, and He saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting upon Him. 17 And suddenly a voice came from heaven, saying, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

John 5:30
30 I can of Myself do nothing. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is righteous, because I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me.

The father trusts the son impecably.

John 6:36
36 But I said to you that you have seen Me and yet do not believe.

John 5:36
36 But I have a greater witness than John’s; for the works which the Father has given Me to finish—the very works that I do—bear witness of Me, that the Father has sent Me.

1 John 4:14
14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world.

Genesis 1:26-28
26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the wild animals of the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

If you are not actively pursuing a relationship with Him, then you're rejecting Him.

The son wanted to earn back the father's love. He rehearsed what he was going to say to him and while he was still far off, his father ran to him and he wasn't interested in having his son work for him, he wasn't interested in that deal, he simply wanted his son back. He does not want you as a hired worker.

God wants me as a daughter.

The son is the presence, the embodyment of his father.

Mark 12:1-11
1 Then He began to speak to them in parables: “A man planted a vineyard and set a hedge around it, dug a place for the wine vat and built a tower. And he leased it to vinedressers and went into a far country. 2 Now at vintage-time he sent a servant to the vinedressers, that he might receive some of the fruit of the vineyard from the vinedressers. 3 And they took him and beat him and sent him away empty-handed. 4 Again he sent them another servant, and at him they threw stones, wounded him in the head, and sent him away shamefully treated. 5 And again he sent another, and him they killed; and many others, beating some and killing some. 6 Therefore still having one son, his beloved, he also sent him to them last, saying, ‘They will respect my son.’ 7 But those vinedressers said among themselves, ‘This is the heir. Come, let us kill him, and the inheritance will be ours.’ 8 So they took him and killed him and cast him out of the vineyard.
9 “Therefore what will the owner of the vineyard do? He will come and destroy the vinedressers, and give the vineyard to others. 10 Have you not even read this Scripture:


‘ The stone which the builders rejected
Has become the chief cornerstone.
11 This was the LORD’s doing,
And it is marvelous in our eyes’?”

The ultimate person to send is his son. He's stopped sending servants, now he's sending sons.

John 17:18
18 As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world.

He wants you to embody all that's good about Him. He wants you to demonstrate his love and his compassion. The Lord has left his mark on us. They're supposed to look at us and see the God who made us. God does not want you as a mere servant. We must not separate servanthood from sonship. While you were still a long way off, he saw you. He'll run all the way to you with arms open wide. Nothing you can do will change the fact that you are God's daughter, you already have his favour, his smile. He's held nothing back, he's given everything.

Romans 8:19
19 For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God.

The future of our world rests on a revelation of sonship. It will transform the way you serve.

Galatians 4:4-6
4 But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, 5 to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.
6 And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!”

1 John 3:1
1 Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.

Monday, September 27, 2010

not the same thing

******START JOURNAL ENTRY******
I had been talking to a pharmacist, someone's dad, east indian. Telling him how she takes meds cause she can't sleep. That she can't sleep because of the pills she takes to help with the bipolar. That she also takes meds for her migranes and did he know about all the awful side effects that went along with those drugs? I told him how they made her worse and weren't actually helping at all and why couldn't anyone help and he was just sitting there smiling, nodding, because yes, he knows about the side effects and yes, he knows it's made her worse, but he's still smiling as he quips, "It's just common procedure." My anger was directed at him, at doctors in general and so I turn away and I'm just bawling and embarrassed about it but I can't stop, a real gut clenching, eye squinting, nose running sob that I can't hold back and that's when I wake and I'm wiping tears from wet eyes, thinking I can't remember the last time I cried like that. The last time I had a thoroughly good cry; more than two tears. I don't really cry anymore. Apparently only in my dreams. (who wants to bet that's something God's going to change this year..?!)
******END JOURNAL ENTRY*****

Cinnamon buns and lemon poppyseed muffins waited on glass plates for us that Saturday morning. We weren't on serving but also weren't sure if we were still supposed to show an hour early so we settled for 9:30. Either half an hour late or half an hour early. We were exactly on time. I had dressed up that day, determined to no longer look out of place, although I forgot normal people don't put pens in their hair...

******START NOTES*****
Ruling:
Genesis 1:26-28
26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

1 Timothy 3:5
5 (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?)

1 Timothy 4:16
16 Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.

A man cannot be ruler until he is master first of himself and then his home.

Acts 20:28
28 Therefore take heed to yourselves and to all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood.

1 Timothy 4:7
7 But reject profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise yourself toward godliness.

How can we train ourselves for Godliness? (How to rule your own life)
1) Die. To yourself.
Luke 9:23
23 Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.
DAILY.
Friendship with this world is hatred toward God.

2) Live. Jesus embraced the cross but he didn't stay dead!
John 3:16
16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Whoever believes INTO Him. Your life is now in His life.

2 Corinthians 5:17
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Live by the Spirit.

Romans 8:2
2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.

Galatians 5: 16-25
16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

John 6:33
33 For the bread of God is He who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.”

You are not capable in your humanity outside of Christ to be spiritual. It's the SPIRIT who lives in your life.

Galatians 2:20
20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Fast because the spirit calls you to.

Colossians 2:10
10 and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

Christ IN you who is the hope of glory.

3) Go on being filled with the Spirit. We died to sin, and we were raised to new life in Jesus Christ. Everything about rule has to be an annointing.

Ephesians 5:18
18 And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit

Daily go on being filled with the Spirit.

4) Speak in tongues.

1 Corinthians 14:2
2 For he who speaks in a tongue does not speak to men but to God, for no one understands him; however, in the spirit he speaks mysteries.

Prophecy buids others up, but we cannot bless others if we aren't buiding up or edifying ourselves. When we wpeak in tongues we utter mysteries (which is something that is not yet understood).

You are declaring spiritual truths that you don't understand. You may not understand them but in the heavenly realm, you are declaring these heavenly truths. The word of God tells you that you will build yourself up by speaking in tongues.

Always make music in your heart, worshiping the Lord.

5) Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.

Colossians 16:3 . . . does not exist. I'm apparenlty dislexic.
So Colossians 3:16 reads
16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

John 15:7
7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.

Romans 10:17
17 So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

You do not believe anything until you put it into action.

6) Take hold of every thought. ( I think that's what my writing says. I'm not sure...)

Romans 12:2
2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

The way we think is rooted in what we believe.

Romans 6:1-11
1 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? 3 Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? 4 Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
5 For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection, 6 knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. 7 For he who has died has been freed from sin. 8 Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, 9 knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, dies no more. Death no longer has dominion over Him. 10 For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. 11 Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

7) Break bread regularly.

Acts 2:42
42 And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers.

1 Corinthians 10:16
16 The cup of blessing which we bless, is it not the communion of the blood of Christ? The bread which we break, is it not the communion of the body of Christ? 17 For we, though many, are one bread and one body; for we all partake of that one bread.

Romans 5:17
17 For if by the one man’s offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.)

And they sang a new song.

*****END NOTES***********START JOURNAL ENTRY*****

The sun is trying to come out but the wind, cold and unrelenting, pushes clouds into the way. Thick, gray clouds heavy with rain. It's chilly but I want to be outside. I'm sitting on a cement bench just past the doors of the church, soaking in whatever little sun happens to seep through. On the drive down here it was 31 degrees. 31 in September. This is more like fall weather now and I find myself inadequately clothed and wishing it away. Come back muggy weather.

Someone's been in a car accident. The young people pour out of the church to see. They lean forward,strain their necks, trying to be inconspicuous about it. Mmm, sun. : ) When the sun's bright I find myself squinting my eyes, but then it goes behind a cloud and I instantly want it back.

No one's bothering me, and as I start to say that here comes Steph and Megan... Two planes have gone by already. I. Really don't know what I'm doing with my life right now. Where I'm supposed to be, or go, or live or do, but every time an airplane goes by it really just takes my heart with it. That noise just fills up my lungs and I get this longing more than I think I've ever momentarily longed for anything else, because I think 99% of my longings are momentary.

*****END JOURNAL ENTRY************START NOTES*******

Isaiah 40 A call to peace.
1 “Comfort, yes, comfort My people!”
Says your God.
2 “ Speak comfort to Jerusalem, and cry out to her,
That her warfare is ended,
That her iniquity is pardoned;
For she has received from the LORD’s hand
Double for all her sins.”
3 The voice of one crying in the wilderness:

“ Prepare the way of the LORD;
Make straight in the desert
A highway for our God.
4 Every valley shall be exalted
And every mountain and hill brought low;
The crooked places shall be made straight
And the rough places smooth;
5 The glory of the LORD shall be revealed,
And all flesh shall see it together;
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.”
6 The voice said, “Cry out!”
And he said, “What shall I cry?”

“ All flesh is grass,
And all its loveliness is like the flower of the field.
7 The grass withers, the flower fades,
Because the breath of the LORD blows upon it;
Surely the people are grass.
8 The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever.”
9 O Zion,
You who bring good tidings,
Get up into the high mountain;
O Jerusalem,
You who bring good tidings,
Lift up your voice with strength,
Lift it up, be not afraid;
Say to the cities of Judah, “Behold your God!”
10 Behold, the Lord GOD shall come with a strong hand,
And His arm shall rule for Him;
Behold, His reward is with Him,
And His work before Him.
11 He will feed His flock like a shepherd;
He will gather the lambs with His arm,
And carry them in His bosom,
And gently lead those who are with young.
12 Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand,
Measured heaven with a span
And calculated the dust of the earth in a measure?
Weighed the mountains in scales
And the hills in a balance?
13 Who has directed the Spirit of the LORD,
Or as His counselor has taught Him?
14 With whom did He take counsel, and who instructed Him,
And taught Him in the path of justice?
Who taught Him knowledge,
And showed Him the way of understanding?
15 Behold, the nations are as a drop in a bucket,
And are counted as the small dust on the scales;
Look, He lifts up the isles as a very little thing.
16 And Lebanon is not sufficient to burn,
Nor its beasts sufficient for a burnt offering.
17 All nations before Him are as nothing,
And they are counted by Him less than nothing and worthless.
18 To whom then will you liken God?
Or what likeness will you compare to Him?
19 The workman molds an image,
The goldsmith overspreads it with gold,
And the silversmith casts silver chains.
20 Whoever is too impoverished for such a contribution
Chooses a tree that will not rot;
He seeks for himself a skillful workman
To prepare a carved image that will not totter.
21 Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth?
22 It is He who sits above the circle of the earth,
And its inhabitants are like grasshoppers,
Who stretches out the heavens like a curtain,
And spreads them out like a tent to dwell in.
23 He brings the princes to nothing;
He makes the judges of the earth useless.
24 Scarcely shall they be planted,
Scarcely shall they be sown,
Scarcely shall their stock take root in the earth,
When He will also blow on them,
And they will wither,
And the whirlwind will take them away like stubble.
25 “ To whom then will you liken Me,
Or to whom shall I be equal?” says the Holy One.
26 Lift up your eyes on high,
And see who has created these things,
Who brings out their host by number;
He calls them all by name,
By the greatness of His might
And the strength of His power;
Not one is missing.
27 Why do you say, O Jacob,
And speak, O Israel:

“ My way is hidden from the LORD,
And my just claim is passed over by my God”?
28 Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the LORD,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
31 But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

1 Corinthians 15 (once again trusting you can look up this entire chapter on your own)

We benefit by reading aloud. We do not apologize when we read the word aloud. This is God's word and we honour it, believe it, submit ourselves to it's judgement.

We are messengers of peace.

Our inheritance is the peace of Christ. He died so we could get it, and then rose again to make sure we got it!

******END NOTES***********START JOURNAL ENTRY*******

Ryan was in that car accident(a SOTW student, The Point is his home church). I was just informed. He's shaken up, maybe has some whiplash. I. There's a huge part of me that wants to go out, to leave this talk on peace and pray for the boy. I saw him walking out of the sanctuary and my first instinct was to follow. To show him I care, that I love my brother in Christ, but then I'm second guessing myself and trying to find the wisdom in it. Would I be doing more harm than good? He once asked me to pray for him, would he accept my prayer now? I envision myself wrapping my hands around his newly buzzed head and praying in tongues over him. But. Is everyone else who knows him feeling the same way and holding back? There are quite a few people out there already and I don't really know him. Would I be intruding?

Maybe I'll just go out on the grounds of needing coffee. Yes. I need coffee. Ryan. How are you? I needed coffee. Do you need prayer?

(that's where I actually got up and left the sanctuary. On the grounds of needing coffee. Yup. I'm crazy.)

*****END JOURNAL ENTRY*******START NOTES*****

We are the result of a history in faith. We are only here because someone was here before us. We are a wisp of grass, but the word of the Lord will endure forever.

Our need is to meet the need of every person in need. Oh that we could live off a tenth and sow 90!

If you want to be penetrated with the Spirit, sing to yourself, sing to others. Read the Psalms to yourself and read psalms to others.
*****END NOTES******START JOURNAL ENTRY*******

He was laying on a couch in the foyer with an icepak. Tears streaming down his cheeks and I couldn't look at him cause it made my eyes well up and then finally I got up the courage and said, "Can I pray for you brother?"
And he said, "Have at it." And so I walked to the other end of the couch and knelt down behing the arm so I wasn't towering over him (or flashing others as I bent to lay hands!). He had his head right against the edge of the couch, with his arms over his eyes and I asked him what he'd like prayer for, cause I wasn't entirely sure what the heck I was gonna say, and instead of asking for prayer for healing, as I'd expected, he asked for concentration. I wanted to pray in tongues over him but if there's no translation isn't it wrong? So I didn't. Anaways.

The boy got up and walked around. I went back inside the auditorium and five minutes later he walked, no, strode confidently in. Let this fill his eager ears.

There is a man here at this conference (with a translator), from Vietnam. They had been talking with Carrie (who is the apostle at this church) and thus they threw some of the programming to the wind of the Holy Spirit, and invited this man up to speak to us about what the Lord is doing in his country. In Vietnam.

So this short man walked to the front, to the podium. He had the microphone headpiece on and just the biggest smile on his face. He had a younger man who was there as a translator and the translator imitated the speaker's hand motions, tones of excitement and sadness. This man told us about the war between the North and the South. He told us how there are tribal minorities and these tribal minorities are seen as less than human by the government.

He told us how he prayed with one man, who then went out and fell to his knees at the base of a banana tree grove, where he interceded in the Spirit for the people of his village. When he looked up, the people from the village were surrrounding him and they too were crying. They had come because they had seen fire in the grove of bananas and when they got there it was just him, praying for them. The Holy Spirit moved in their hearts and 100 people came to the Lord that day.

Then the church that was formed there met in a building and one day the building was surrounded by people carrying buckets of water, because they had seen fire on the roof of the building, but it was just this church inside, and so they witnessed to these people with their buckets of water. Many people were saved that way. The Spirit moves!

******END JOURNAL ENTRY*********START NOTES*******

Romans 14:17
17 for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

1 Peter 2:15-17
15 For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men— 16 as free, yet not using liberty as a cloak for vice, but as bondservants of God. 17 Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.

You are free to live as God's slave.

Luke 17:5-10
5 And the apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith.”
6 So the Lord said, “If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you. 7 And which of you, having a servant plowing or tending sheep, will say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come at once and sit down to eat’? 8 But will he not rather say to him, ‘Prepare something for my supper, and gird yourself and serve me till I have eaten and drunk, and afterward you will eat and drink’? 9 Does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I think not. 10 So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, ‘We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do.’”

The servant (same with us) has done all he was commanded to do, and did not even expect a thank you, because he had simply done his duty.

We should simply do what Jesus has told us to do and expect no thanks, cause it's our job. When our life is like that, we have more faith.

John 15:15-17
15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. 17 These things I command you, that you love one another.

We are servants who love the Lord. Who shares the father's heart with us and calls us friend. Well done, good and faithful servant.

We need to have a fear and respect for the Lord, while he calls us friends.

John 13
1 Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.
2 And supper being ended,[a] the devil having already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray Him, 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, 4 rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. 5 After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. 6 Then He came to Simon Peter. And Peter said to Him, “Lord, are You washing my feet?”
7 Jesus answered and said to him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.”
8 Peter said to Him, “You shall never wash my feet!”
Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.”
9 Simon Peter said to Him, “Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!”
10 Jesus said to him, “He who is bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean; and you are clean, but not all of you.” 11 For He knew who would betray Him; therefore He said, “You are not all clean.”
12 So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? 13 You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. 16 Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. 17 If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.

Jesus washed their feet (which could have been seen as removing a disturbance to their fellowship [stinky feet!]). He wants us to help each other remove everything that's not of the Lord. Everything that is hindering the flow of the Holy Spirit within us.

******END NOTES*****

A bbq had been planned for that evening at the Kraft's residence, but it didn't start until seven, so there was a whole lot of us with absolutely nothing to do for only an hour and a half. Jess was running around from group to group, telling us not to worry, that she'd find somewhere for us to go, and she did. We shuffled our butts off to Jenna's parent's house. Most of us changed out of church clothes and we were offered some not so real English tea. Jess and Josh decided we were in the perfect atmosphere to play the animal game, which consisted of us all coming up with an animal, an action and a noise. The coveted spot was the lion *RAWR* and the least wanted spot was the amoeba *amoooeeeebaaa*. You had to say the noise/do the action of the animal you were and then someone elses. That person then had to do their noise/action and then someone elses, and if you messed up, then you became the amoeba, and everyone else moved up, closer to the lion. I sucked at that game. And as an animal, I contributed the pterodactyl. Yup I did.


Jess announced it was time to go and we should tidy up our scattered mess. Somehow as we were tidying, someone found the grand piano in the next room and then everyone was gathered round as Josh played. There were windows right behind the bench he was seated at and as I gazed out the window I got my first glimpse of a ground hog, ever. Thing was, I didn't know what it was. Somehow, in my head, I had equated groundhogs and prairie dogs. I thought they were the same thing! I'd never had any reason to think otherwise, as we don't have them in SK. So there's this MASSIVE rodent just chomping on all their flowers, just meandering through the garden. Also prancing out in the yard was a squirrel, but he wasn't very interesting at all. Not compared to the beast.

So I'm absolutely freaked out, and sounded completely ridiculous as I pointed out the window demanding to know what that thing was. They told me it was a groundhog with this certain nonchalance and turnd back to Josh but I, believing groundhogs and prairie dogs were the same thing and knowing, without a doubt, that that thing was not a prairie dog, kept insisting someone pay attention and tell me what it was. Sometimes my blond roots show...


The Krafts had set out all the food by the time we pulled up but by the time I decided I might like a hamburger, the hamburger buns were all gone, so I gathered my ingenuity and used two hotdog buns to house my hamburger. There was also a bag of GIANT marshmellows. Three times the size of normal marshmellows. It took four dips in the fire to finish it! (that's me in the background, roasting the marshmellow...In front we have Jess, Jess and Amy.)

I hopped seats throughout the night, to talk with different people, new and known, snag some water or avoid the smoke of the massive bonfire that boys find hard to avoid. Eventually someone picked up a guitar and I was very excited for a real worship time, but unfortunately the guy playing did not like to finish any song, and he only started on the chorus.

There was a long row of about four picnic tables and at the end of the row was what appeared to be a person, sitting all on their lonesome. I walked passed that person several times and finally figured I should go ask why they were sitting there, all on their own. As I neared the dark shape I realized that it was, in fact, a tree. Well. It's the thought that counts, right?

I enjoy fires, and people, and guitar. I was so content to just sit and listen, or stare at the relaxing fire. But then we had to go, because our ride was leaving (the man who lives in the basement of the house we were staying at, did we plan that or what.) and I didn't feel much like talking after that day, so I was lucky Steph was in the front seat.

I had a shower right after we walked in the door, to be rid of the campfire smell. As much as I love campfires, I HATE smelling like them. I don't remember much after that. Day three in the U.S.of A.

free servant

I was regaled with tales of the Artfest that started for the first time last year as I ate my bagel and munched that delicious, explosive honeycrisp apple. Lauren told me about the giant loch ness monster and how there was just art, all over the city. How it was put on by a christian and the prize of this artfest was a quarter of a million dollars. I was almost more excited to wander through that than to go to the leadership conference. Almost.

We were all to arrive early as they sorted through who was serving and who had the day off to just listen. As I was guided toward team one I was told we were on first shift and would be serving that day (Friday, btw). We had the choice of either welcoming people at the door or helping in the kitchen. Um, kitchen! She didn't need our help right off so I meandered into the sanctuary and claimed a seat with my bag in the rows designated for our school. The first session was a little over my head. It was on prophecy and I still need the basics on that, so as I found myself a little frustrated that I couldn't understand it, I had to remind myself that this was a conference for people who were past the basics.

I felt almost underdressed in my peasant skirt turned dress, as girls swished past in pencil skirts and dress pants. While they strode confidently by, I planned in my head how I was going to step it up for Saturday. I did take some notes, however haphazard they are, so if you're now wanting to know if I learned anything at all at this big get together, this next part's for you.

*****START NOTES******
Ephesians 4:7-24
7 But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift. 8 Therefore He says:


“ When He ascended on high,
He led captivity captive,
And gave gifts to men.”[b]

9 (Now this, “He ascended”—what does it mean but that He also first[c] descended into the lower parts of the earth? 10 He who descended is also the One who ascended far above all the heavens, that He might fill all things.)
11 And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, 12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, 13 till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; 14 that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, 15 but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— 16 from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.
17 This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, 18 having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; 19 who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.
20 But you have not so learned Christ, 21 if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: 22 that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, 23 and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, 24 and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.

Much in the church has been up to feelings, senses. We need to leave the feeling, overwhelming of our emotions and listen to the sensitive whisper of the Holy Spirit.

God wants a grown up people who are not easily blown here and there by every wind of doctrine.

God is looking for a people who'll be consistent, who won't be moved easily.

1 Corinthians 3:1-3
1 And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual people but as to carnal, as to babes in Christ. 2 I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able; 3 for you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men?

To be grown up means that you know the difference between right and wrong, and you CHOOSE to do what's right. We must practice how to choose right, we must practice how to listen to the Holy Spirit. You can learn to be more effective spiritually.

The first thing we need to have as a prophetic people is a listening ear.

Isaiah 50:4
4 “ The Lord GOD has given Me
The tongue of the learned,
That I should know how to speak
A word in season to him who is weary.
He awakens Me morning by morning,
He awakens My ear
To hear as the learned.

We are all servants and slaves of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 2
1 Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, 2 fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. 9 Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, 11 and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
12 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; 13 for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.
14 Do all things without complaining and disputing, 15 that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, 16 holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.
17 Yes, and if I am being poured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice and service of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. 18 For the same reason you also be glad and rejoice with me.
19 But I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you shortly, that I also may be encouraged when I know your state. 20 For I have no one like-minded, who will sincerely care for your state. 21 For all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus. 22 But you know his proven character, that as a son with his father he served with me in the gospel. 23 Therefore I hope to send him at once, as soon as I see how it goes with me. 24 But I trust in the Lord that I myself shall also come shortly.
25 Yet I considered it necessary to send to you Epaphroditus, my brother, fellow worker, and fellow soldier, but your messenger and the one who ministered to my need; 26 since he was longing for you all, and was distressed because you had heard that he was sick. 27 For indeed he was sick almost unto death; but God had mercy on him, and not only on him but on me also, lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow. 28 Therefore I sent him the more eagerly, that when you see him again you may rejoice, and I may be less sorrowful. 29 Receive him therefore in the Lord with all gladness, and hold such men in esteem; 30 because for the work of Christ he came close to death, not regarding his life, to supply what was lacking in your service toward me.

You are free indeed when you are a slave of Jesus Christ. "Abraham my servant" "Moses my servant".

Joshua 1:1&2
1 After the death of Moses the SERVANT of the LORD, it came to pass that the LORD spoke to Joshua the son of Nun, Moses’ assistant, saying: 2 “Moses My SERVANT is dead. Now therefore, arise, go over this Jordan, you and all this people, to the land which I am giving to them—the children of Israel.

Your servant can do this. If you have a servant's heart, a servant's spirit and a servant's mind, you will not be afraid.

1 Samuel 17:37
37 Moreover David said, “The LORD, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.”
And Saul said to David, “Go, and the LORD be with you!”

We are to be FREE servants of Jesus Christ. Serving out of love, because we have chosen to.

We need to come to a place where we're not holding on to anything. Where we've emptied ourselves and are obedient to Christ. It's our joy to be obedient. We should not have the world's view of obedience.

If you are going the wrong way, whether you have success or failure, whether you're kind or not, the wrong way is the wrong way.

Why should maturity be so long delayed and the nursery so long occupied?

We need to grow up. We need to be the people who know what it is to be a slave (of love) to Jesus Christ.

Isaiah 42:1
1 “Behold! My Servant whom I uphold,
My Elect One in whom My soul delights!
I have put My Spirit upon Him;
He will bring forth justice to the Gentiles.

Matthew 12

Psalm 123 (I trust you are capable of finding these references in your own bible.)

Praise the Lord for yesterday but ask, 'Lord, what do you want today?' You need to be a servant who is PROCLAIMING.

The slave waits for the master to give the signal. Once he's done what he'd been told to do, he's back in his position, waiting for the next signal. When you move out on your own opinion, in your own timing, the grace of God isn't there.

We are listening, watching, our focus is not on the need, it is on Him. We are not there because of the need, but because the Lord has sent us there. A slave cannot serve two masters. It's wonderful to serve one Lord.

If you don't understand a person's motive, don't be quick to judge him.
******END NOTES******

The main speaker, or apostle I think, was saying, before anyone spoke, about how we need to be servant leaders, and I really appreciated that bit of it. I'm sorry if these notes don't make any sense, they're mainly just what I thought important enough to copy down, and skip all the jokes and relating stories. Those are just for me apparently. Ha!

We were pulled out of the second session by a very organized DK, in order to help in the kitchen. Trays of turkey wraps and trays of cookies. Bowls of salad as well as pasta salad. Bags of chips and cans of pop. It was a very well rounded meal. Our job was to keep everything stocked, remove empty dishes and hurry back with them, refilled. It sure keeps one moving. We ate once everyone else had eaten, and then once they had all finished and been guided back into the sanctuary, we wiped tables and vacuumed floors. I'm ashamed to say I wasn't very helpful with that. For one, I had a splitting headache and the noise of the vacuum just reverberated through my head. I kept stopping and starting. But I had to stop to move the chairs out from the tables so it was semi-productive.

I don't get headaches often and so when I do they're just a real bugger, and the thing about getting a community of believers together who truly care about each other is that they're all asking you how you're doing. So I think quite a few people knew I had a headache, and I'd been prayed for quite a few times. It made it hard to concentrate, that headache did, on what people were talking about, which sucked. And for two, (reasons why I wasn't that helpful) I was very interested in what the speaker was talking about. They were having a question and answer period and there are three or four tv's out in the lobby, with somewhat quiet speakers. I would pause and listen to him for a bit, wipe a table, pause to listen again.

Someone had asked something about prophecies, and as I know next to nothing about them and have been given a desire to know, I was listening rather intently. He told the crowd about how his wife had been very sick and a few very well meaning friends had prophesied that she was going to be healed. He said he knew in his heart that she wouldn't be, and then she wasn't. She died. Then he had some friends tell him it was God's will for him to remarry, but he knew that wasn't right for him either. He reminded us to use discernment in both recieving and giving prophesies. To pray about them and know that we shouldn't be giving a prophecy for the sake of giving a prophecy. Amen.

People milled about all over the lobby, but refrained from having a parking lot party because of how windy it was outside. Note to self: skirts & wind result in embarrassing situations, even if you're wearing leggings underneath. There was no plan, no place to go and no means of getting there, but a loud cry for a plan. I found myself wandering from one cluster of SOTW students to the next, asking what they were up to then. None of them had a clue, but someone knew, they were sure.

Eventually we planned for food, as it was nearing 5 p.m. We all somehow found a vehicle and then somehow found the same Olive Garden, some arriving half an hour to an hour later. It was the place to be, apparently. My headache affected what I ordered to eat, and you'll all be glad (or you should be) to know that I didn't finish my plate. Even though it called to me. I let it be. I let that grilled chicken flatbread be. Payment was colassal mayhem. Some had American money and were going to aid others in payment, some had visas and some's visas didn't work. I wasn't even sure who paid for me really, it was just that ridiculous.

I was at the point of curling up into the fetal position, headache wise, and so on the way to Jenna's I curled up in the backseat of the van and refused to get up when we arrived. The slight problem with that was that I was cold, but as people kept coming in and out of the van, I decided it was moot to stay in there anaways. I discovered they had decided to attend Artfest and I inwardly cursed the headache that would keep me away from something I would enjoy so much! As I laid on the cement sidewalk (Steph informed me there were fire ants in the grass of the lawn), I finally asked for drugs, and Sylvie came up with some liquid advil. Thank you Sylvie. I sat up in time to watch Jenna fall down the cement steps of her porch, taking an impressive chunk of her foot out. There was talk of not going, until she walked confidently out of the bathroom and declared she was still good to go. Bandaged foot and all. Way to be woman. : )

Our school was mixed with people on the Rev team who attend The Point. The Point is the church in Grand Rapids that was hosting the conference, and they're under the same apostle as us. Feel free to correct this info. if it's wrong! Rev is sort of like SOTW, except with more outreach/evangelism. I think there were also just some young adults who attended The Point there so we were quite the random crowd. It was just about dark as we parked and walked downtown. Our first taste of art being the out of tune (due to weather), hippy painted piano sitting just under an overpass. About this time I noticed my headache was gone and gleefully enlightened everyone else.

There was graffiti on boxes and melting ice sculptures and giant metal. Somethings. Saskatoon is supposed to be the city of bridges but downtown Grand Rapids had WAY more than all of Saskatoon! Fail. On the bridge we crossed was a woman with one end of a kite string. In the air, attatched to this string, were huge white balloons with little blinking blue lights where they attatched to the rope. It arked high in the air and was pulled back in to what we discovered on our way home was a man at the base of the next bridge to the right. Fallen twinkling blue lights gleamed through the shallow water of the river inbetween the two bridges. As I was looking at the graffitied canvas boxes on the Victoria styled bridge with the balloon kite and starred sky above a bunch of seagulls took flight and I had this incredible pang for the camera I had the day before misplaced. I think I left it in Ryan's car and in that moment I was rather distressed about that. In anguish even.


The air was balmy, the breeze slightly cooler. The lights of downtown were warm and the voices jovial. People laughed and sang and danced and clapped but mostly they just walked and talked, taking in the art that adorned every corner. A yellow car filled with rubber ducks and an arbitrary band with an old black man swaying to and fro in front. With his eyes closed people skirted around him and no one was quite sure if he was part of the act or not. We came up to a large building and Jenna, who I believe had designated herself our tour guide of downtown Grand Rapids, informed us it was their art building, which was free during artfest. We stood in the quickly moving line and were then handed stickers that we had to place in clear view. I didn't understand the point if it was free anyways. Amy had a camera and so the only picture I can provide you with is from her.

I ambled around that gallery way longer than anyone else in the group even cared to, in fact some of them had stayed out to begin with. I loved each exhibit, each photo, each talent on display. I wanted to take it all in and not leave, but I felt obligated to not keep them all waiting. Lime green chairs in the shape of leaves had been moved to circle a single table and that's where most of them waited. Those too impatient to wait had sauntered off to find more art to gawk at, but they were back before long and then we were off, with the intent of heading back to our vehicles. This attempt was squashed when, off to our left, a giant, flying, viking pig appeared, tusks and all. Maybe it was a boar. As if we were not going to check that out.

It was made by the same group that presented the city with Nessy in the river (now in a zoo I've heard) and it was a work of ark. Green glowing eyes, oval wooden legs for steering and thick, canvas sails along it's back. It's side was open so you could see the metals gears and at the base of the pig was a man handing out a 'newspaper' about it. There was a live band playing in that area, mammoths towering above you comprised entirely of nails welded together, a lilypond etched on brass sheets. Of course, everyone else was done there too before I had had enough time to drink it all in. I had to hold my skirt with two hands against the wind as we walked again passed the piano and talked of the pro's and con's of fireworks. We were warmly invited to the States for the fourth of July festivities and we compared how our city did on Canada Day (Saskatoon ranked poorly).

Jenna's house had snagged quite a few more people and being the wonderful hosts they are, we were all soon offered hot beverages. Real English tea made by Erin herself. I found myself being a lot more outgoing than I ever imagined possible and I had soon met almost everyone who's name I did not know. As Steph and I were staying at a house quite far from our then current location, we had to find a ride and leave when it left, which was around ten thirty. Back at the house we headed straight for our respective rooms and I regrettably fell asleep fully clothed once again. That day was so packed though, so draining, and I wouldn't have taken anything out. I was utterly content as I closed my eyes, one arm flung across my stomach, the other cradling my cheek. Sweet dreams.

As if.

the scarf off my wall

I thought I had changed, left it behind, but then the wind blew slightly different, the leaves in the trees took on the warm colours of fall and I found myself wearing the scarf off my wall as I wandered the aisles in Value Village, searching for a peasant skirt that I could wear as a dress at a conference. When packing for the move out here, I looked at my many scarves and picked out the ones I thought most likely to be worn, if I ever decided to wear scarves again. That resulted in three scarves, stuffed into corners of boxes or around something a little more fragile. I like them, I really do, I just don't reach for one when I'm getting dressed. It feels bulky to me but on that particular day, and I apologize for making you think of a Wednesday that's passed, but last Wednesday I threw on a gray scarf; and I loved it.

Another thing I neglected to bring with me, on account of thinking I was out of my gypsy stage, thinking my style had changed enough to leave behind, were my silver bangles. So at Value Village I found a peasant skirt that I belted to give structure as I wore it the way it wasn't made to be worn and I thought, 'oh. I really wish I had my bangles.' Ah well.

That morning I took the bus to Sparks Street, walked four blocks and entered the rotating glass doors (they still freak me out everytime...). Up the wide stairs, then left and at the end of a long hall is the Canadian passport office. I didn't have to wait in line, just walked right up to desk one. She asked for my ID as she pulled my new passport out of a grey government envelope. Somehow, even though I knew I had already gotten my passport, I felt nervous and was slightly jolted as she asked, with a thick french accent, if I was ready for my trip the next day. I assured her I was but thinking on it later, I don't think it affected me much. Other than making sure there were no dishes left for four days, or food that would go bad in that time, it didn't seem any different than any other day. I think I've been on way too many roadtrips... As I left the building, I slipped that new piece of travelling ID into the leather case I had bought for it three years ago. This has been a long time coming folks.

The morning of the ten hour road trip (Thursday), I was so focused on making sure I had enough 'smart' clothes packed that I managed to inhale three cups of coffee. This resulted in a few snide, sexist remarks as I informed the three boys that I had to pee. Yes, I knew we'd only been driving an hour. Yes, that was a stupid thing to do. No, I was not going to wait until Toronto and did they know that they could complain all they wanted but that would not change the fact that I had to pee? I would like to now point out that all three of them also used the bathroom when we stopped at a Tim's.

A box of 12 donuts was acquired and, as three of the car's four occupants were boys, most of those donuts were consumed in a single bite. We had abandoned the caravan that was meeting at Indigo and left probably sooner than they congregated. Speeding along the highway we listened to comedy off Ryan's laptop. I watched leaves of every shape and warm colour flow past in this uneven stream of tall and short trees. The terrain moved up and down in endless hills which were dotted in quaint farmhouses and the occasional wooden fence. Cows and corn.

I slept in many odd positions, often waking up with at least one body part asleep, although I don't think I was ever asleep for much more than twenty minutes. I don't know if this is just an odd quirk of mine, but I can't keep my shoes on in a vehicle if it's going to be moving for more than ten minutes, and if I'm cold, I'd prefer a blanket over a sweater. Ryan was getting tired of driving, or maybe just tired in general, but none of the rest of us could drive stick. I was supposed to learn this summer, last summer even, but sometimes things just don't work out, and so every now and then I'd punch the back of his seat and ask if he was awake. He always responded with 'no'.

Bets were placed on how long we would have to wait in line at the border. The final tally was 7, 12, 15 and 20. I said fifteen. It took us 24. As the car idled and we waited to hand over the $3 toll, I noticed a sign that reminded everyone to declare all sorts of random things. The list included meats and veggies. My eyes widened as I remembered the bag of baby carrots stuffed into my backpack in the trunk. Then even more as I thought of the half chicken sandwich in my bag on the floor. I was still wondering if I would have time to quickly eat it as we pulled up to the booth and the stern, uniformed man looked down his nose at us. Ryan jovially handed over our passports and as the border guard went through them he started asking questions.

Where were we going? Why did we have an American with us? Why had this American left America? Where was this conference? Why were we going to a leadership conference: we didn't look like leaders. Ryan told him he was a worship leader and the guard nodded, then asked about the rest of us. Apparently I am too young to be a leader, but I was too intimidated at the moment to be insulted. We informed him we were attending a bibleschool that required it's students to attend the conference. He grunts and pulls out his walky talky. "I've got a car here with four. Take them to the back one by one, and don't forget the rubber gloves."

I want you to know right now that I was incapable of forming any sort of coherent thought at that moment and I have never wanted to bawl like a big ol' baby at any other point in my life. The guard then turns to us, smiles, informs us he was joking and asks who he'd scared. I don't know how punching a border guard would go down but he was lucky I was still in shock. If he'd been serious, I would have walked back to Ottawa. He then tells us we do still have to go in, as we've been selected at random by the computer for a car search. I'm sure that's a tactic they're taught, so we'll be more cooperative for the car search but still. Not appreciated.

We walk inside and I'm entirely concious of everything, from how I walk to what I say. There're so many officials everywhere. They make us fill out these forms and I asked the officer if I had to declare my chicken sandwich and my carrots. He kind of chuckles and says yes, then assures me they won't take them. Might I add that that chicken sandwich did not taste as good as it had pre-border. We were free to go soon after that and we all have a good laugh at how scared I'd been. I was not laughing on the inside.

The signs are now posted in miles, most of the billboards are about bankruptcy and cheaper fast food than anyone would think possible. The land is much the same and I would like to say that from what I saw of it, Michigan is very beautiful, especially in fall. Ryan ate the last donut (in one bite of course) and Grand Rapids moved closer with every jarring bump of the awful highway. DK directed us to his parent's house and we pulled up to what I would define as a farmyard. After recieving a warm hug from his mother and a quick tour of their organized house, I wandered out the back door, sans shoes and took a deep breath of humid air.

Around a small wooden garage housing an old tractor was a huge willow tree. It towered above me and I stared straight up through the branches to a cloudy sky as I walked on the soft ground. Large decaying pumpkins and many ripe tomatoes filled the garden, and I almost snatched one but I figured it might be rude to steal another's garden tomato, even if they have many.

Our transportation to supper (Pizza Hut!) was a huge van, the kind of van we had when I was little in BC. I remember looking out that large glass pane and just loving how much higher I was than any of the other vehicles. With windows open to circulate air and hair we whipped along dirt roads to the restaraunt. It was summer indoors personified, where they crank the air conditioning so you're freezing, simply because it's so hot outside. Any size pizza for $10. I sat down in that booth wondering how on earth they could pull that off! The menu made claims of 100% real ground beef (which I'm told is a brand name and may not be entirely ground beef at all) and real white chicken (another brand name?). Yeah. So the cheese sticks were good... DK managed to dump a whole glass of water into one of the girls' lap half a minute after the water was set down. The waitress just laughed.

The Maritimes have their kitchen parties and it seems Michigan has parking lot parties. After relocating to the church, we waited for the rest of the caravan we'd left in our dust to come crawling in, one by lonesome one. The bugs were awful, the air warm. Everyone stretched and relayed the ridiculous stories of road trip boredom. Eventually we found our way to the right vehicle and Steph and I discovered we were boarding together at a church elder's house. They welcomed us with hugs and honeycrisp apples (which simply explode in your mouth. :) We talked a bit of how the church started, and then I wandered up to my room. Around 6:30 a.m. I woke up, fully clothed, light on, bible open just above my head. Why is it doing nothing for ten hours can suck all the life right out of you?

Next road trip I'm getting Monsters. And bringing no chicken sandwich.

Monday, September 20, 2010

fifteen reasons why i'm always late

1. I forgot to set an alarm. I had my phone in hand, laid down and then the next thing I knew, I was late.

2.I don't get up when my alarm goes off. I hit 'dismiss' and then shut my eyes again, with the intentions of only for a few more minutes. A few minutes usually turns into half an hour.

3. I forgot to make my lunch the night before. I didn't set my alarm with enough time, or I slept in, robbing myself of the time that it would have taken to make a lunch, and I cannot function without food.

4. If my hair is greasy, I'm going to shower. Sometimes braids work, and sometimes there's no hope. Then I don't care if I have time to shower or not, it's happening.

5. The mirror. Make up. I can go without, but more often than not, I would prefer to go with.

6. My hair is doing weird things. When no hair do works, but I have to do SOMETHING. I change it once or twice usually.

7. Locating clothes. I'm currently short on hangers and so all my shirts are in a drawer, which means I have to take them ALL out to find the one I want. And then sometimes I feel awful in it and have to change. Twice.

8. I miss the bus. And have to wait another 20 minutes for the next one. Not my fault.

9.The bus is late. Self explanatory: def. not my fault.

10. I was distracted by something. I am distracted easily, and do not easily feel rushed. Even when I know I'm late.

11. I'm not hurrying because I know my clock is set ahead ten minutes. Not sure why I do that. I never forget that it's ten minutes ahead.

12. I HAVE to eat breakfast. If I don't, I curl up into a grumpy ball until I get food.

13. It's cold in my room. And therefore I put off getting out of bed for too long. You have to psyche yourself up for it, you know?

14. I seem to have a lot of things that I don't really realize take any time. Or I don't allot the right amount of time for them when I'm planning when to set my alarm. They take longer and I go, 'oh.'

15. I'm just bad with time management. Think that sums everything up.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

bridge notes

I found myself under one of Ottawa's bridges recently and it was so, incredibly littered. Broken glass and just, everything, and it saddened me. I sat down to write this but then felt too sketched out to journal there any longer...

ashes to ashes
dust to dust,
even the rats
eventually leave us.
for a better place,
or maybe it's worse,
but what other world
has ever been so cursed
by humanity,
by insanity,
by the outcome
of destruction
of almost every family.
there's no place to walk
with feet left bare,
for every rock's covered
in the broken glass of despair,
of shattered affair,
of the result of seeing
and being
trained
not to care.